Oh, Spring. (Heavy Sigh Followed By Wet Sneeze)

It’s allergy season, which means my daily thoughts are constantly centered around my inability to breathe or wear any kind of eye makeup or carry on a conversation of average length without sneezing at least a dozen times.

It’s just a part of who I am, and apparently becoming an annual part of this blog.

Here’s just a peek into those allergy-centric thoughts. You’re welcome. Or…I’m sorry?

“If my fingers were skinny enough and long enough I could totally reach all the way up into my sinus cavity and just scratch like crazy.”

“I’m pretty sure even my brain is itchy.”

“I wish people would stop saying, ‘Bless you,’ every time I sneeze because I’m just going to sneeze again, and they’re going to get tired of saying it, and OMG, it’s happening right now and snot just flew all over my lap again.”

“I am drinking this water and I am so stopped up and I AM DROWNING RIGHT NOW.”

“How bad would it look to just keep wadded up tissues inside my nose?”

“OH, NO. WHERE DID I PUT THAT FLONASE?”

“OH, NO. IT’S BEEN THREE DAYS OF CONTINUOUS FLONASE.”

“How is it even possible to itch BEHIND my eyeballs?”

(On sneezing) “Here it comes. Here it comes, hereitcomeshereitcomes.”

“It’s just a couple of months of mouth-breathing. You can do this. Flonase can help.”

“How many times can I talk about Flonase on this blog before they give me a lifetime supply?”

“On the bright side, Heaven will be allergen-free.”

“I just want to die. Or breathe.”

Seriously, HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY/ITCHY?

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3 Comments

Filed under Humor

3 responses to “Oh, Spring. (Heavy Sigh Followed By Wet Sneeze)

  1. Haha, that is awesome because I sadly can relate all too well. If producing snot was an Olympic sport I’d be the team captain driving a pollen dusted yellow Volvo (that is supposed to be silver)…….

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