Fancy Pants Make Me Dance Accidentally

I did a little shopping yesterday because I have three pairs of slacks I can wear to work, and two of them are the same color. And because these new clothes were for work, they needed to be fancy. And when I need to be fancy, I shop at Old Navy, especially if they send me an email promising to give me 30% off THE ENTIRE STORE.

I went on my lunch break. I was able to actually try on a few things AT THE STORE without a small child waving at strangers from under my fitting room door that is literally* six feet off the ground.

I saw the pants on my way to the register with my lunch break drawing to a close. So I grabbed what I hoped was my size (I was being optimistic), paid for my fancy purchases, and was on my way.

I tried them on this morning thinking, “I was really being optimistic yesterday,” and promised not to cry if I couldn’t button and latch them. (What is up with the pants and the latches lately? They’re just giving me more opportunities to not fit into the pants.)

But GOOD NEWS! They fit! And I loved them.

You guys, I LOVE THESE PANTS. I love them so much I’m going back for its sister colors. I love them so much I texted a picture of them at 5:57am to my sister and told her to BUY THESE PANTS. I love them so much I selfied with them.

You have to understand, I have three simple but hard set rules for selfies:

1. Only selfie with the first pumpkin + chai latte of the year.
2. Only break Rule #1 for humor.
3. Only break Rule #1 by abiding by Rule #2 no more than three times in a calendar year.

I love these pants so much I was willing to break all my selfie rules and I was not doing it for humor and I was going to smile and I was not going to make a silly expression and I was even going to hashtag OotD on Instagram and probably even tag Old Navy in hopes of getting a gift card for more of these fancy, fabulous pants.

Seriously, you guys, these pants are the shiz. I love them so much I just used the word “shiz.”

I could have woken up my husband and had him take a picture of me.

“Honey, get up. What time is it? No, you’re not running late, it’s only 5:30. I just need you to take a picture of me in my pants.”

But then it wouldn’t have been a selfie. And also the whole cranky husband thing.

So I set the camera timer to 5 seconds. The second option was an EXCESSIVE 15 seconds, and I just don’t have time for that. Surely I could hop in front of my phone, decide on a flattering pose, and SMILE all within five seconds.

You guys, turns out I can’t.

Instead, I end up with an intentional selfie of a 100% unintentional twerk.


But these pants look amazing.

*Not literally