Advice to My Younger Self

Obviously, I can’t go back in time and give advice to my younger self. (YET.)

But if I could, here are three pieces I would tell my younger self, at three certain times in my younger self’s life.

1. Don’t give that three-page love letter to that boy. Actually, you should probably lose his phone number indefinitely.

2. When your dorm’s RA asks if you want to grab something to eat, he doesn’t mean it to be friendly and helpful to you, the new freshman. He means it as a date. Don’t go on that date. He will bring you to meet his parents, and it will be painfully awkward.

3. Please double-check the Send list on that email. Reply To All means exactly that.

Those are just three of the gut-twisting humiliations I have suffered in my life. Forget what they say about “making me who I am.” As soon as those nerds at NASA invent time travel, those are the three top moments I’m planning on revisiting. Even if they warn us against “meddling with the space-time continuum.” I’M A REBEL, Y’ALL.

What are your three moments? I’m hoping they’re as bad as mine.



Filed under Humor

19 responses to “Advice to My Younger Self

  1. Don’t get takeout from a Chinese restaurant called Ho’s. (Worst food poisoning ever.) (Yes that is its real name)

  2. Mine are all either bad date related or gluten related.

  3. Truth: I’ve only ever gone out with one girl, and she later became my wife–so no date-related stories.

    What would I tell my younger self? Hmm…

    Your parents are going to get divorced. Even though it feels like it, it’s not your fault, and it’s not the end of the world. And don’t harbor any bitterness in your heart towards your dad–both it, and he, aren’t worth it.

    Jesus has plans for you you just can’t comprehend right now. He’s got you.

  4. hopefulleigh

    Lord have mercy. Mine are not for public consumption. Let’s just leave it at that. 🙂

  5. I did Kevin’s prompt, too — with a weird twist. It will post in June. Because it has to. I love your advice about that boy. We should all take that. One of my other pieces would be: You know that boy you loved? Remember how he wouldn’t share his nectarine with you? You should know if he won’t share a nectarine, he won’t share his heart.

  6. I think my advice to myself could be summed up by this one statement:

    When you’re 80, most of this won’t matter so don’t worry so much; and if it WILL matter when you’re 80, you’d better think carefully about the choice.

    (Is that one statement? I mean, I did use the semi-colon so I’m not sure. And now I’m a little worried…)

  7. I would tell myself to really appreciate Fazoli’s more before they go out of business. Now the closest one is three hours away. That’s pretty much the worst thing to ever happen to me.

  8. Pingback: You Are Nothing | Meet the Buttrams

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