By the end of last week, my husband realized that I was reaching Critical Mass (the black-hole-death-of-a-star definition, not the Violet Beauregarde-becomes-a-blueberry definition) and, in his infinite wisdom and interest in self-preservation, Hubs made an appointment at the spa for me. (He’s a sweetheart, you guys, and if you see him in person today, you should hug him and ask him to do that two-tone whistle. HE’LL LOVE IT!)
Except…I preferred to cancel that appointment and instead get my hair cut at the salon.
I only get my hair cut about once a year, and love it more than any mani/pedi package out there. For an entire hour, someone professionally certified to make me look pretty plays with my hair. HEAVEN.
Because I only go once a year, I never get to know the stylists very well, even though I go to the same salon every time.
The lady on my right is giving her stylist an update on her kid’s strep throat status, while my stylist is asking me if I’m married and have any kids.
And because of this, coupled with my inability to give dynamic first impressions, once all pleasantries have been addressed, they normally go about their business snipping away in silence, while I compose blog posts in my head and try not to make accidental eye contact with them in the mirror.
Thus, it’s a very introspective time for me. So much so that I’d like to confess some things that were going through my mind. (Calm down, there’s only five.)
1. I cut my own bangs. I always feel self-conscious when I get my hair cut because I know they know I cut my own bangs with a pair of junk drawer scissors. I can feel it in their judgmental snip-snip-snips as they salvage the carnage that is my bangs. I would like to point out (as I did hastily as soon as my stylist combed through the wreckage) that I most recently cut my bangs to be Punky Brewster for Halloween.
2. I have really great hair. Professional hair people tell me so every single time, and I’m always surprised. Please don’t tell me they’re just being polite so I’ll give them a hefty tip. Truthfully, I do have good hair. I’ve never dyed it (I don’t count my Sun-In stage), I hardly ever put anything in it, and it’s healthy, thick and fabulous. I should expect their compliments (even if they’re ill-motivated) after all these years, but I’m always super flattered. (Now if only the people at Starbucks will compliment me on how skinny I look.)
3. Eye contact weirds me out. I know it’s inevitable that the stylists get all up in my personal space, and that I’m actually paying them to do so, but I still haven’t figured out the appropriate place to look when they’re half an inch from my face caressing my hair. Especially since the stylist I had this past weekend was a fellow. So I just stared at his forearms. They were quite beefy for a man who earns a living cutting women’s hair.
4. I’m really not as funny as I think I am. That’s kind of a sad realization. Pity laughs are worse than blank stares, you guys. What makes it worse is that I had to repeat the not-that-funny over the blare of hairdryers and jazz-infused Eastern hipster music, only to solicit that soul-crushing half-laugh. An additional realization is that I REALLY need to work on my first impression before Killer Tribes. (PS, conference friends, if my jokes seem rehearsed, THEY’RE TOTALLY NOT, OKAY.)
5. When I become a billionaire, I will hire someone to shampoo my hair every single morning. This is the REAL reason I get my hair cut at a fancy salon. Head massages, people.
Meet the Buttrams 
I totally get my daughter to brush my hair – she is too old to play hairstylist but smart enough to know that a happy mama takes a +1 to Starbucks.
I’m waiting for when my daughter hits that hairdresser stage. Yes, I’ll play!
I’m sure you’re as funny as you think you are. I’m keeping my expectations high.
I’m for reals jealous of your beauteous hair. Glad you were able to be pampered!
Maybe I should just tow you and Kim around to laugh on cue. 🙂
Ahh you make a great Punky Brewster!! It must be the fabulous hair. I treated myself to my first real haircut in ten years about a month ago, and now I’m totally addicted. Bad news!
I’m working on perfecting my fake ‘genuine’ laugh, if you want to pair up. 😉
Meet me in Nashville on the 31st. 🙂
Perfect. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!!! 🙂
Punky Brewster. Did you cut them with a hatchet?
I had no idea Popeye cut hair.
The courtesy laugh is like a punch in the face. It sucks the life out of you.
My wife has natural curls and has a tough time finding a salon, even tougher down here. I say nothing. Regardless of the cost it’s only once a year.
I bet my hair stylist thought I macheted them.
And yes, for once a year, my husband lets me have free reign – including time-wise. It’s an all-day affair for me.
I have reached Critical Mass. Time for a pedi.
So jealous of the hair. I don’t have much hps – hair per square inch. It’s great when you talk about not having to shave my legs, pits, or wax my brows. But as far as the locks coming out of my skull…they wimp out. I actually have a haircut tomorrow!
I hope you are enjoying a massaging shampoo right now!
When I read the title, I thought it was going to be a personification of a barber chair. 🙂
There’s nothing quite like a courtesy laugh. I also prefer the blank stare. Maybe.
You’re funny, and I’m with Leigh – I’ve still got high expectations! You can rest assured there will be no courtesy laughter here.
Now that would be funny! I think you should write that post. 🙂
See Leigh’s comment re: towing you around. The end.
Once a year?
Please explain this to me.
Michael makes me look like Jennifer Anniston every 7 weeks, and it’s so not enough . Never enough.
And you are funny. But I’ll bet your like me. Cerebral. Like we have to think our funny. It doesn’t just come rolling out. Sometimes there’s seepage, but I wouldn’t say I’m funny. You might, but I know differently.
I still love you JButt. And those Tribes role will, too. Duh!
I know! And sometimes I even let two years go by! I forget this whenever I chop it all off with something trendy that requires a 4-week revisit. I never make that follow-up appointment.
Since I have the little one at home with me, I have to wait for the weekend to get my hair cut. It’s an all-day affair.
And there’s always so many cooler things to do with family than sit at the salon on a Saturday.
I too love getting my hair cut. I go every 2 months; only now I know my stylist too well and we chat the whole time!
When I lived in Thailand, I had an inexpensive salon across the street. For $5, I could get my hair washed and styled in air conditioned comfort. Did this twice a week. And they did 10 minute shampoos and head massages.
I’m trying to remember why I moved back to Canada.
FIVE DOLLA! I am also wondering why Canada.
I knew you before you were Freshly Pressed! 😉 Congrats!
You’re the best.
Oh. My. GOD…you and I are the same person. I do get my hair cut more frequently than you, but I find myself thinking the same things.
I’d like to add one, however: What kind of deodorant do hairdressers use? Seriously, is there some secret variety that NEVER fails? Because I’ve never met a hairdresser with BO…and given the amount of time I spend under their pit (usually during the shampooing phase), you’d sure think I’d have smelled one or two by now…
I cut my own bangs, too. And I always get the question, “What exactly is happening with your bangs?” Nice passive aggression, hair lady…
😉
I start sweating the second they hand me the cape I’m “encouraged” to take my top off for. Good call on the deodorant.
…and I don’t know about you, but I’m always wearing the revealing/see-through/arm-jiggle-enhancing top that NO ONE was supposed to see!
😉
The head massages are indeed the best part (no pun intended).
Oh, but the puns are what make things fun. 😉
Cute post.
Thanks!
I’m a stylist, and I must say, if the professional cutting your hair doesn’t make you feel at home and totally welcome, shame on them! I have clients who are like you, who I take extra care for in ensuring their comfort and making sure they feel they can compfortably sit in silence if that’s what they wish or just make sure my focus is on them for small chit chat throughout. It’s about reading your guests. I wish you could come visit my salon lol I love taking care of people so so much.
I can tell! And I’m just abnormally bad at small talk. There is little redemption there.
Haha fair enough. I’m just LOVING the comments though 🙂 good things to read as a stylist haha I’ll make sure to pay attention to what I have read here and see what I find out at work
and of course my name is michelle rose … not rosehell hahaha awesome autocorrect.
I have said the exact same thing for years! As soon as I win the lottery, that is literally the first thing I will spend money on. A fancy (comfortable!!) hairstylist sink and someone to wash my hair and style it every single morning. Now that’s heaven.
I would be STUPID with that much money if I ever won the lottery. I’d probably hire an Australian to follow me around and repeat everything I hear in that accent.
There’s nothing like having a great place to loose yourself – your hubby gets big points !
I think I’ll keep him.
I hear you on the eye contact. And the massages. I’ve had my hair washed at a…yeah, I guess it was a salon…maybe twice in my life, and the massage was the best part. Congrats on getting Freshly Pressed!
Your comment confirmed FP for me. So, thanks for being the one to officially break the news!
Gosh, I DREAD the hairdressers, particularly the shampooing. I start squirming and wriggling like an idiot! Wish I could enjoy it more.
See, this is how I react to mani/pedis. So I feel you.
I’ve always cut my bangs with junk drawers scissors. Actually, all through college I used to cut my own hair to save money. Finally, after I got a better job I treated myself to getting my hair done. My stylist looked at my hair and said, “Uh, who’s been cutting your hair?” And I said, “Why, is it uneven?” And he said, “Yeah, it’s really bad.” Oops!
Don’t you just love the hair judgment?!
As with most guys, I do not go to a “stylist” so much as a “disgruntled-employee-just-doing-it-for-a-paycheck” at the local Hair Cuttery. Anyway, I never like it when the person cutting my hair wants to chat. I’m just there for the cut, let me sit in peace while you butcher my locks. Sometimes I just want to tell her before she even begins, “listen, I’m still going to tip you so don’t feel compelled to be friendly with me.”
Way to go on the Freshly Pressed by the way!
http://sportsjim81.wordpress.com
Thanks!
I bring my son to one of those sports-themed hair cutting places and he loves feeling so manly. Even if his hair looks like he just got out of prison.
I thought I was the only mom who cuts her own hair and frequents a salon once a year (or less!). Yay for being Freshly Pressed 🙂
Truthfully, it is seriously hurting my Trophy Wife street cred.
I’ve decided to give up on the chain-smoking, Wendy’s Triple with Cheese eating “stylists” over at SuperCuts and take matters into my own hands. Of course, I do have a vast collections of baseball caps that come in handy for moments like that.
You men have it easy.
Being a licensed stylist in three states plus owning my own salon for ten years, I find it very interesting to hear the perspective from the chair. To be fair, I’m not currently practicing as I have relocated and working now in the IT sector — not to mention learning the finer aspects of farm life versus the big city of Dallas.
All that being said, your post was intuitive and fun to read! :-0
I do love it and I’m envious of people who know how to cut hair. I’m just really bad at small talk. Like, it can be catastrophic.
Inventive – and hilarious – post!
Thank you!
My mother used to own a hair salon–she had it for many years. I watched her haircutters and picked up the technique of hair cutting without going to school for it. I cut my own hair for many years, and that includes layering it. I do my fiance’s hair as well. But I can tell you that I do appreciate what you mean about that oddness of when you sit in a chair; especially when the haircutter thinks that they’re all it and a bag of chips.
val
http://valentinedefrancis.wordpress.com
My stylist was really nice – I mean, he courtesy laughed and everything, instead of pretending like he didn’t hear me over the jazz flute.
That whole eye-contact thing… I swear dentists are worse… They are all up in your face THE WHOLE TIME! What do I do?! (I usually just stare at the lamp, which of course haunts me the rest of the day in the form of a purple blob that’s always where I’m trying to look).
Good call on the dentist. My hygienist is a botox-er and proud of it. She invites me to stare at her smooth forehead so you know, there’s that.
Went to a dentist once who was just gorgeous! Didn’t mind the eye contact at all… slightly strange though as he was pulling out my wisdom teeth. It was like the bizarre relationship between Steve Martin and Bill Murray in the dentist scene in Little Shop of Horrors.
As for hairdressers it’s been years since I went to one who spoke English having lived overseas for so long, so my eyes are usually rereading the few English magazines that I’ve scavenged to bring along to the appointment.
As a stylist I can say that we enjoy to pamper people, and nothing makes us feel better than if you walk out the door feeling refreshed and good about yourself.
As for the silence, it’s not awkward for us. For myself it can be a welcome relief after trying to find small talk with each person all day. Not that I don’t like the chatting, but I can say that I have had several TMI moments, which I admittedly follow up with that half laugh you spoke of haha.
I’m already at a fancy salon; I don’t want to seem too snooty to speak up, you know? It’s a delicate balance.
That is my 1 must do splurge every 4 to 6 weeks is to go to the salon:) Thanks for sharing & Congrats on being FP!
If I could get away with just sneaking in for the shampoo, I’d never get my hair actually cut.
I hear you! I only go about 1x every 2 years with Supercuts maintaining about every 6 mos. I would totally pay for someone else to wash and style my hair every day! *sigh*
I’m convinced they have to have an intro course to massage therapy in order to get their Paul Mitchell Certificate of Beauty.
Thank you for a fascinating read. I have 2 Hair Salons in England but am not a Hairdresser, I run the business side and have a manager in each Salon to run the hairdressing side. I am qualified in Indian Head Massage. All Clients love the backwash, it really is a fabulous feeling. Its interesting what you say about getting into conversation with your Stylist, some Clients find it difficult to engage in conversation but those who attend regularly develop confidence in their Stylist and talk about all aspects of their life. Not many other businesses or professions get to be that connected with their Clients.
Truth. I’m sure if I went often enough, I’d totally share way too much. It’s an either/or for me.
I loved this! I hardly ever go to get my hair cut because it’s super curly and most stylists tend to butcher the layers I have and cut my “bangs” too short. I also get the “you have excellent hair” but some say it’s super easy to cut and others say it’s hard to style. I just don’t know anymore.
Congrats on Freshly Pressed! Great post 🙂
I’ve always wanted super curly hair!
I feel like you just described my salon visits perfectly.
I’ve really never understood how people can develop close relationships with their stylists. My barber and I exchange formalities and spend the rest of the haircut in awkward silence, occasionally interrupted by my failed attempts at being funny.
But at least the shampoo makes it all worth it.
The shampoo makes EVERYTHING worth it. Even the weeks of sick kids, eye infections, dirty tissues and wiping up snot.
As a stylist, let me say a few things…
Most of us like the small talk, but if you smile and don’t talk then just ignore us, some of us ramble and it’s not about a tip. I would talk to my mannequin when I was in school. Mostly we just want confirmation that we understand how much time you have to devote to your hair and what your needs are concerning your overall outcome.
That moment when you don’t know what to do about eye contact… the stylist is used to that and always has things running through their head … “Gosh, here I go right in there face” and “What did I have for lunch”… “When was the last time I popped a fresh mint in my mouth?” and my personal favorite, “Dang, why can’t I get the bangs straight!”.
SMILE…SMILE…SMILE when you look in the mirror. The minute you smile like you love what I am doing the faster I get you out of my chair, because I don’t want to keep cutting until the smile turns to a frown :).
If you want the stylist to do the best job for your hair, honestly go in about every 2 months. Even if all you do is go in and get a shampoo blowdry. It allows the stylist to learn your needs, your hair and your head. They will then smile a little as they watch your bangs walk through the door.
Loved this and so glad I lucked into this post!
“They will then smile a little as they watch your bangs walk through the door.”
You just confirmed that they TOTALLY talk about my homemade bangs behind my back!
No, not talk… just smile. I NEVER talk about my clients unless it is something I am bragging about. When you are in my chair the fact that you cut your own bangs is your secret and mine :)!
I get my hair cut maybe 3 times a year – whenever my boys are out of town visiting grandparents. I don’t want to drag them with me, and I refuse to go on a Saturday. That’s MY day. Usually. I also cut my own bangs. I’ve been watching how the stylist does it, so I’ve tried copying that. It works better than what I used to do! And no, I’m not much of a talker, either. I feel weird sitting there not saying much, but I don’t know what to say. Or where to look. I usually end up closing my eyes. Maybe they don’t talk to me because they think I’m asleep. Maybe I am. 🙂
I come close to falling asleep during the shampoo, but I worry about snoring, or not hearing them when they tell me to sit up.
Great post! Soooo funny.
Thanks !
Yes to the head massages!
Delana
http://delanasworld.wordpress.com
Amen to deep conditioning!
where to stare for a guy: if it’s a dude hairdresser, get a magazine, any magazine is allowed, even gossip rags; if it’s a girl… revert to normal rules. ^^
But I feel like I’m supposed to keep my arms inside the cape at all times. Is that not a rule anymore?
Only if you’re hairdresser also owns a soup kitchen, and is a Nazi.
That shampooing of the hair is definitely the best part of getting your haircut. I love it. I also have a hard time of where to look. Luckily I wear glasses and so they take them off and I can’t see much. But I also selfconscious of how fat my face looks above that icky cape so I look down at my lap.
YES. Staring at myself in the mirror is also out of the question. Because then I’m like, “Good grief, no wonder I have bangs.”
I always cut my bangs until recently. I decided to leave it to the pros. I left the salon nearly in tears. I will forever cut them myself again!
I’ve had enough bad haircuts in my day that I’m pretty detached from my hair. Which is probably why I keep cutting my own bangs.
Oh Sun-In… i remember those days! I too do not dye – I am not against dying, I am against the upkeep of dying. I used to be a once a year girl when I had long hair that was all one length. Now I have short hair – which is the magic secret to getting more frequent head massages.
I always fall prey to the hip young things with cute little bobs and get my hair cut like that. DISASTER after just a few weeks. Enter: ponytail season.
I get my hair cut only twice a year and I hate it.
I am so terribly uncomfortable (more so than usual, even) and the stylist who does my hair went to my high school and likes to tell other people we both know now as adults that I was a dork.
I realize it’s crazy that I still go to her (not that I was a dork) but someone who makes time for the salon every six months is not inclined to find anyone new. Plus all my friends go to her so she’d ask, “Why isn’t Julie coming? Did she stop grooming COMPLETELY?”
Also, she likes to gossip about everyone. EVERYONE. So I sit there and listen and nod and she asks questions and I act like I’m too stupid to know what she’s talking about (dorky AND ignorant – hooray!).
I’d rather talk about strep throat.
I think I would hate it too if my stylist was someone I actually knew. The awkward silence and accidental eye contact would be UNBEARABLE.
Wow! once a year? My family owns a salon and my sister-in-law is a stylist too. Actually she is really well known in Madison. I do not think I could last a year for one I am spoiled with free hair cuts my whole life and second I have a bog head so lots of fluffy hair is weird looking.
My hair grows really fast and is super easy to manage, so I can get away with infrequent hair appointments. The shampoos though, those are harder to forego.
About three years ago when I was in beauty school there was this family that came in. They all wanted to get their hair done. Some of them were getting highlights and others were just getting it cut. One of the children had Down’s syndrome and I had to wash her hair for a cut. The smile on her face when I washed her head and massaged it was such an expression of pure joy it warmed my heart. The head massage is the best part because if you are happy then us stylists are happy. It is a really good feeling.
Shampoos make me happy. The end.
Hi, greetings ! I also rarely cut my hair, usually about around 6 months or more. I also have a posting about my hair. Here http://priajelita.wordpress.com/2012/02/19/hair/ and about wig, herehttp://priajelita.wordpress.com/2012/02/21/wig/ Please check them if you have time. Thank you !
Thanks for reading!
Just read a magazine or check out your phone if the small talk is uncomfortable. The goal of the stylist is to make your visit enjoyable, so it will not come as a personal insult if you don’t want to chat. Most people enjoy talking about themselves, thus the standard questions, are you married, where do you work etc, lol.
I’m always torn between feeling awkward and REALLY wanting to seem cool and hilarious. So maybe next time I shoot for cool and aloof? Problem solved!
As long as you pay, you’re stylist doesn’t care, lol.
Head massages rock. ROCK. I need to go to the salon about every 6-8 weeks, but that’s because I’m terribly vain and can’t make myself blonde on my own. And I love getting out of the house and getting a head massage and reading or knitting or talking about myself and sipping coffee and having adult conversation about mindless stupid stuff. Love it.
All of these comments are pretty much just telling me I need to adopt a hairstyle that requires frequent upkeep.
No- I wish I didn’t! I tried to be lower maintenance and it was great for my wallet and great for just being easy… it just didn’t look good on me. It looks great on you – do what works for you, seriously! Maybe just have your husband wash your hair. 🙂
My pixie-cut theme this year compels me to have a haircut at least once a month. You’re right, the best part is the shampooing and Massage, heaven!
I want to be able to rock the pixie cut but I’m afraid my neck is too short. (It’s also why I can’t wear dangly earrings or turtlenecks.)
(This all makes sense, I promise.)
The note about close-up eye contact hit home for me. At the salon, and the dentist, I always close my eyes when they need to get close. I think it is the easiest thing to do.
I automatically wince when they move in close. I feel a little bit guilty about it.
My hair is so short that I do my own, with a set of electric clippers and a special attachment to keep it all the same length.
But for a real treat, nothing beats the head massager:
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/gifts/Head-Massager/612615036048-item.html?cookieCheck=1
MY SISTER HAS ONE OF THOSE.
I’m in love with it. Tingly!
great quirky insights love it
Why, thanks!
Congrats on the Freshly Pressed nod!
If I got my hair cut only once a year, I’d be scary. My hair would seriously resemble a bird’s nest. And the head massages are really quite wonderful. When I got my first haircut in Turkey, the boy (there are surprisingly few women who work at salons there) who was washing my hair started giving me one serious head massage. It kind of freaked me out at first because I didn’t realize at the time that it was a normal thing. I thought he was totally hitting on me, acting on the common belief among Turkish men that foreign women are easy. When I told my Turkish friends about, they assured me that it was fine. Man, I miss those massages!
(And I don’t know how funny you thought this post was, but it was pretty funny!)
Birds’ nests could be the new vogue!
And don’t listen to them; he was TOTALLY hitting on you.
hi, great post. my hairstylist happens to be a young guy who’s closer to my daughter’s age than mine and does all the talking… and leaves me free to enjoy all that’s happening to my head and hair. 🙂
I could work with a constant-talker, I think.
I’m totally not good with small talk, especially in salons, so I usually end up sitting in silence as well.
My awkward silence wars with my need to instantly be liked. (PLEASE DO YOU LIKE ME?)
Yay for you getting Pressed! Great stuff as always. Glad so many peeps got to see you in action. You have really skinny hair.
No, no, Clayford, my thighs are skinny. My hair is thick and fabulous. Jot it down for when we meet at Killer Tribes.
Fabulous post! I too am a lover of head massages. And am also totally awkward with weird eye contact moments… And not just with my hairdresser, it also happens with the person who waxes my eyebrows, my eye doctor, my dentist… Pretty much anyone who hovers around my head for various reasons.
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed! Well deserved.
Thank you!
And thank you for calling out the eyebrow waxers. They are absolutely within the splashing zone and can totally see my mustache. Back up, eyebrow waxers.
And please stop eating garlic lunches before you tend to us.
I was inwardly laughing manic reading this (I’m in a public place, must be reserved). I am exactly the same way. I don’t go for the small-talk side of things unless it’s “Why yes, I do have stupidly thick hair, you should have seen it before I had 9 inches cut off!” Seriously… I used to look like Cousin It.
I have never grasped the fine art of knowing where to look in the mirror while getting my hair cut. I do have the advantage of wearing glasses and my eyesight is horrible when I take them off to have my hair done, so I can just sit there and be blind.
And yes, I too would have a personal hair washer if I could afford it! The last woman that did mine had long nails, BLIMEY that was fantastic!
I am SO GLAD I made you restrain-laugh. This is my goal every single day.
Can someone write a rulebook on eye contact? Thank you.
“When I become a billionaire, I will hire someone to shampoo my hair every single morning. ” That is one beautiful wish….I’m wishing one for myself too…plus the daily head , shoulder massage to get rid of stress….congrats!
If I had a nickel for every new hit I got from Freshly Pressed…
Will work for blog hits?
I just close my eyes when they get really close – avoids the awkward eye contact!! BTW, you’re funny 😉
Thanks! I’m trying REALLY HARD.
Ack! You ARE as funny as you think you are because that’s what I tell myself anyway (smiles). If they don’t laugh, tell them what do they expect when they’re hearing you for free? If they do laugh, tell ’em you do your show there once a year – like Ground Hog’s Day. See, I think I’m funny! I’m laughing! (Oops, now that one side of my bangs is higher than the other. Just let me fix that…)
EXACTLY. Pay for the show, folks, and keep the line moving forward.
You are funny, don’t fool yourself! And OMG, I went through this last Thursday! Yes, the once-a-year hair cut! I wait til there’s about 4 inches of dead at the ends. I, too, cut my own bangs. And I avoid the hair salon because of the awkwardness of it all! I’m not one for divulging my life story to people especially strangers and those around me (I did have this older woman getting her hair colored next to me-for entertainment I let her overhear my distaste for the area I live in, my stylist already knew this, I’m sure this woman went back to her friends and told them what a nob I was). Like you, I don’t really know my stylist (yes, I go to the same salon and stylist) because I see her once a year.
I used to have nice, long, thick hair once. Red highlights. Soft. Never had to color it.
Then I got old. Now it’s thinner, duller, grey in the front and top. If I don’t color it, it looks like a snow capped mountain. I hope you never have to go through that. You’re too pretty!
Great post. Made my giggle this morning!
I think I’m going to come up with a different back story every time I go to the salon. Especially juicy ones for the eavesdroppers.
You know they’re listening! Start a rumour! LMAO!
I am not the memorable first impression type either, as I usually do the same as you. I get through the basic “get to know you” questions and then silence the rest of the time. It feels akward to me, and I try to be funny but it just makes me seem a little intellectually challenged. 🙂 Congrats on your featured post..I enjoyed reading!
Right? I just want to reassure them that I really am funny, I’m just off my game. Or something.
Lol 😀 Nice post 🙂 I usually turn off my phone and listen to jazz music (the salon where I usually go has a gr8 collection of Jazz)…!! For about 20-30 mins, I forget everything and enjoy each and every second of that music !! I love getting hair-cuts …most probably because of this reason 😀 Cheers
And please check out my latest post on love – http://raajtram.wordpress.com/2012/02/28/let-the-time-decide/
Good music definitely makes a lot of awkward situations better.
Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.
This made me literally laugh out loud. So…LLOL?
I cut my own bangs as well, poorly. In the picture to the right, you’ll notice they descend evenly on to my left eye. This was not done on purpose, they are just very uneven. I’m not sorry.
Apparently some salons give free bang touch ups throughout the year. I also cut bangs for free, though.
Your picture makes me so, so happy.
I get my hair cut every month (i’m a furball) and I still feel weirded out by the eye contact and all those caresses. I actually flinched the last time my barber touched my ear (to avoid cutting it!) as I was so busy staring at the person sitting next to me with the green hair.
Humorous person, you are!
Oh, no, then I bet those haircuts are torture! I love it when they play with my hair. Touch is my love language. First impressions, not so much.
I love this! I tell my stylist more about my life than even my best friend – because she won’t judge and she won’t see me for 6 months…so not quite so introspective, but still one of my favorite delights.
And I get the “perfect hair” compliment – but I too have the most perfect hair because I hate blow drying it. So perfect in fact she won’t let me do anything crazy to it.
Congrats on Freshly Pressed, love your blog!
Thank you!
I find myself accidentally lying when they ask me simple questions about my life. I don’t know why. Like this last time, I totally lied about my age, and not in the right direction.
The rest of this post was completely wonderful, but I can’t get over the Punky Brewster costume — too funny!
Congrats on FP! Maybe with your new celeb status, you’ll be able to get head massages more often;)
I am absolutely cashing in on my newfound celebrity. I have a screenshot saved to my phone and plan to flash it around like an FBI badge.
i know many girls and they say that when their hearts get broken, one of their best outlet is to cut their hair. it makes them feel beautiful and renewed. 🙂
I concur!
priceless lol
honestly, I am as blind as a bat without my glasses, so I can’t see the myself in the mirror anyway, so I just close my eyes and hope for the best lol
great post and congrats on being freshly pressed
Cheers
-Ron
“Hope for the best.”
I like your style.
Haha I have the exact same problem with eye contact 🙂
Reading through the comments, I really think there needs to be a rule book written.
I like just letting my mind wander when im having my hair cut, i dont mind if the barber doesnt speek to me or not. I find it very relaxing
Mind-wandering = blog posts. MATH IS FUN!
Isn’t it amazing?! I only go once or twice a year mainly due to budget and of course time!! … I love your goal for professional hair care 🙂
Having a professional shampooer on call is my dream. It might just be on my mid-life crisis list.
Either way I’m not judging!! If anything I’m putting it on my list 🙂
Omg, i completely relate because i just had my hair relaxed last week for the first time since having my baby and it was like HEAVEN, too! I didn’t know just how busy life would get with baby and work, but I’m working on balancing it all. I’m trying to tackle my weight loss next. BTW, love your blog!
xo, Glor, mommyblogger at http://www.vargasbaby.com
I can relate to having your bangs cut by the one person you trust – you! I couldn’t agree more. I don’t trust anyone with my bangs..not even my hair stylist whom I’ve been going to for the past 5 years! I guess it all comes down to knowing exactly what you want…and the only person who knows that is you…:D
Jenny
http://www.organic-cocktail-recipes.com
This is freaking hilarious. Thanks for helping me realize I’m not the only one that thinks this crap while sitting awkwardly in that chair. 🙂
Haha 😀 Reading this again with my friend 😛 And just to let you know, I’ve just started a new PhotoBlog!!
Here’s the first post – http://raajclicks.wordpress.com/2012/02/29/oh-i-love-my-laptop/
FRESHLY PRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, so for that alone I should hate you, but the fact that you have beautiful hair too is just too much for me. I suffer with three scraps of hair I casually drape about my head every day. But, really, I am so happy for you. Really.
Loved the post – the head massage has got to be the best part! Funny things when I want to talk – the stylist does not want to and when I don’t want to talk – the stylist won’t hush. Great post – thanks for the fun!
Every story is funnier when it starts out in a barber’s chair, just ike any story (or blog past) that starts out with, …so I was standing there in my underpanst!
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed
Mr. Bricks
I hate when I’m enjoying a good hair washing only to realize that my hair lady’s boob is kind of smashed into my face. I mean, what do you say to that?! “Oh, hello there boob!”
It amused me to remember my Sun In stage :). I agree, the shampoo is the best part of it. I wish they would do it for half an hour!
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Great… you made that sound so desirable that I actually am going to make an appointment as soon as my salon opens tomorrow.
Hey, I’m a hairdresser myself and when I work with a client I tend not to look at the person but at at his/her whole aspect (the way the hair is naturally grawing, how it falls, his/her facial features, skin tone etc) and when I realise the client looks at me as if I’m judgemental it’s reaaaaly embarassing for me too. Even though it’s just part of my work and stuff.
nice
A hair cut is worth it for the massage alone. How often do we have someone massaging our head? Pure pleasure.
Funny post!
I have really thick hair too and have been frequently complimented. There was this she-barber once who started hitting on me by running her fingers in my hair and saying things like – “Your hair are sssoooo thick” in a very husky voice.
It was creepy.
Wow…I love this…and number 5 is the best love it…and will do the same when I become a billionaire!!!
I think you’re funny! 😀
Head rubs.. yes.. yesssss!! Loved your post. New blogger here, and enjoyed checking your blog out. 🙂
You are as funny as you think you are 🙂
I really enjoyed this post. It was very entertaining. And it’s very nice to know that I’m not the only awkward person who feels self-conscious when I make eye contact with people. Oh and I cut my own hair too. I know…it’s so embarrassing. But whatever. I’m not paying them to judge me.
Peace 🙂
When I become a billionaire I am going to pay someone to laugh at my jokes. I can do my own hair, but it seems kind of incestuous to laugh at my own jokes! Great post. J. http://contemporarymusings.wordpress.com
This reminds me of a story that a friend just told me this week. She went to a new hair salon here in Sweden (which I found out is the same basic custom as getting your haircut in the U.S) and the lady cutting her hair started talking about herself for an hour. Ranting, raving, and looking for pity about not having any friends, not caring about her husband and how no one seems to like her so she doesn’t go out enough. Not in a friendly way but in a pathetic, awkward, “I want to get out of the chair even though only half my hair is cut” type of way. My friend just smiled and nodded through it, not knowing how to respond and it completely ruined her haircut. It’s an experience, not just a haircut, you expect to be pampered at least a little. So, as long as THAT doesn’t happen, you are golden!
I long ago solved the ‘where do I look since we’re so awkwardly close to each other’ problem.
My wife cuts my hair now.
I love hair cuts as well, just so for once i don’t have to style it by myself!! Loved your blog. My favorite was No. 5!!