Whenever I pick up a book, I always read blurbs from other authors before I decide to buy it or, more accurately, borrow from the library. I especially like quotes from authors I am familiar with.
Likewise, here are some quotes about me from various points in my life and taken completely out of context.
You can then decide if you would borrow me from the library.
This metaphor no longer makes sense.
“You remind me of a kiwi.”
Girl I went to church camp with, probably named Lindsey
but definitely not named Veronica Lodge
(Maybe because I’m small and tart?
Hopefully not because I’m round and fuzzy.)
* * *
“She never listens when she dances.”
The Ever-Astute Bug
(We were at a taco place and The Foundations came on the radio
like a Sunday Surprise and I knew 90% of the words, so yes.
OF COURSE I’m going to sing + dance along. It’s math.)
* * *
“If you eat too much of that, you’ll make yourself sick.”
My mother, several times
(This only happened to me once, so WHO’S WRONG NOW, MOM.)
* * *
“We can tell people you’re my ugly twin.”
My 3rd grade best friend Shara Teets
(We convinced a kid in our class we were twins separated at birth.
This was her attempt at making our story more “believable.”
Disclaimer: I included her full name in case she ever Googles herself.)
* * *
“What the crap is up with Jessie’s face?”
My brother-in-law Adam
(In his defense, I should mention that he was talking about this picture:)
What are some hilarious out-of-context quotes about YOU?
(You know, so I can feel better about my oddities.)