Remember when I told you to stay tuned because my Fall Line-Up of Awesome Bloggers was happening? Because I like alliteration, and the #ff hashtag on Twitter makes this so convenient, I decided to let some of my favorite friends focus (f)their (f)words fon Fridays. I had to stretch that alliteration a little bit, but you don’t mind, do you? Of course not.
First (haha!) up is Ricky Anderson, who systematically (“systematically” because he works with computer “systems”…okay, had to stretch that one out a little too) beats me at Words With Friends. Except for that one time when I, like, tripled his score or something.
Never mind.
Take it away, Ricky!
———-
I think most kids grow up to work dead-end jobs simply because they didn’t know how to get to their dream ones.
So this one’s for Bug. He has high hopes and aspirations.
He doesn’t want to be a deadbeat like you, Dear Reader (Jess’s’s words, not mine).
Bug wants to be the President of the United States.
Ultimate power, secret service protection, no privacy whatsoever. What’s not to like?
Things Bug Can Do Now To Prepare For His Future As the President of the United States
- Learn geography. Might as well learn now just where those folks with the names you won’t be able to pronounce are from.
- Also learn which foods to avoid.
- Practice delegating. You can’t do everything, but you will be responsible for it. Give tasks to those you trust. Start with Mom and Dad, and slowly start handing things off to your little sister Bean.
- I suggest making her mow the lawn.
- Work on your public speaking skills. Practice at school, church and the mall. Tell everyone exactly what they want to hear without making any definitive statements or promises.
- Don’t get too friendly with interns. Your mom will explain when you’re older.
- Get used to not doing anything for yourself. When you’re the President, you’ll have servants at your beck and call. I don’t know what a beck is, but if you call for pancakes, pancakes you shall have.
- Or pizza.
- Take what’s not yours, but be brazen and up front about it. It’s not stealing if you take it from those who didn’t vote for you and give it to those who did. If you smile while you do it, some folks will actually appreciate you for it.
- Run for class president. Everyone has to start somewhere. Most of us start in tiny chairs, even the President of the United States.
What tips do you have for Bug?
Nathan Fillian for Vice President!
Meet the Buttrams 
“Your mom will explain when you’re older” Haha! I’d say start training professionally in the field of Elaborate Hand Gestures. Profound speeches are great and everything, but something about the waving left hand while the right hand ponders thoughtfully around the chin is strictly presidential 🙂 You’ve got my vote, Bug!
True. There is definitely an art form to hand gestures.
Bug 2036!
He’s got my vote, too.
He won’t be eligible for about 30 more years…which is about when I’ll be retiring.
I’ll need him to reinstate Social Security.
Great list to start, sounds like you’ll have a presidential hopeful in no time! (yay?) One thing I’d maybe add- While practicing public speaking, make sure to emphasize……………. The Dramatic Pause.
Ah, yes, the Dramatic…
Pause.
Useful when you can’t remember how to pronounce ‘nuclear’.
Bug:
Make sure you know how to spell potato. Or is it potato-e?
And stay away from girls in blue dresses who fancy berets.
Your mom can explain that, too.
I fancy berets, so I have to stay out of politics.
Raspberry ones, right? The kind you find in a second hand store?
All good things for sure.
Sage advice, but there was absolutely nothing in it about the sheds! What’s Bug to do with the sheds, Arthur?
(Is that where you keep the nuclear codes? In the sheds?)
😉
Like I’d ever tell you…
Here I thought we were friends, man. 😉
That was my guess!
I’m just commenting to see if I’ll get two replies like everyone else did.
I’ll give you one. 😉
Dangit!
No, you’ll just get this one.
NO.
Remember that the “football” is actually the codes and triggers that initiate World War 3… don’t mistake it for an actual football and play catch with it.
“Mr. President, how did this apocalyptic war start?”
“Well, I just dropped the ball. My bad.”
AWESOME.
He needs to pretend he didn’t hear or didn’t understand questions when the questioner is unlikely to like an honest answer.
Like when I ask you if you love me?
What he said.