1. I received an accidental text from a stranger the other day asking if she could come over for a nap. I really wanted to text her back saying, Sure! but then I realized I would never get to witness her awkward arrival at her friend’s place unannounced, hopefully with a Pillow Pet under her arm. So since I do everything for self-gratification, I instead texted her this (I hope I made her laugh):
2. I literally have an Excel spreadsheet devoted to statistical formulas predicting the outcome of every NFL game this season. In other news, my brain has missed math like the desert has missed the rain.
3. Bug has had really long runs in both football games of the season so far. The kid is fast and elusive. But these runs have not yet culminated in a touchdown. Right before he gets to the end zone, he runs out of steam and/or trips. If he ever goes pro, there’s a good chance his plays would make ESPN’s Play-of-the-Week, and not for awesomeness.
4. Bean is a cellist. Don’t believe me?
5. I finally paid my library fines, which means I finally got to check out Tina Fey’s book Bossy Pants. I’ve considered ignoring my children for the remainder of the day to read it, but I’ll wait until bedtime.
6. I was talking to a college kid the other day, and in our conversation, he said “excrapolate.” I plan to use this pronunciation whenever I say that word from now on and forever and ever amen.
7. Bean gives me a heart attack on a daily basis. When I lose sight of her for exactly eleven seconds, I will usually find her climbing to the top of some place very high. Not as in, the roof, but like trying to repel off the stove, or surfing in her baby swing.
8. Remember plastic bubbles?
9. Pretty sure David Crowder Band forgot to consult me when they decided to retire. Luckily, there’s NeedtoBreathe.
10. Want to come over for dinner?