Dear Spring: An Open Letter

Dear Spring,

All I See is Pollen

I love you. I do.

But if we are going to make this work, you have got to stop trying to pollinate me.

Now, usually, our month of turmoil should have long come and gone, when your gorgeous dogwoods blossom and invade my nasal cavities. We both know this should have ended in April – and, may I point out, every year I wholeheartedly put up with your thirty days of petulance because I love you and your blooms and your mild weather and warm rains.

But do you realize we are now creeping into June? June, Spring, June! Summer’s month! The month of stifling heat and golden tans and lazy days at the pool and books by Nicholas Sparks! I feel like we’ve lost some significant time together, Spring, and I am disappointed.

No, not just disappointed, but tired.

Tired of being able to use one nostril at a time, if I’m lucky. Tired of having a constant cough and itchy throat from being a mouth-breather these past couple of months. Tired of living life with a tissue wadded up my nose. Tired of looking at the beautiful pastels and vibrant colors of your season and only being able to see that sickly yellow pollen like a plague.

Did I mention I’m nine months pregnant?

Have a heart, Spring.

Your friend,

J-Butt

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